The Expectations Loop

We usually feel sad in one of the two situations:

• We don't get something in life that we wanted
• Something unexpected happens in a negative way

For the second situation, most circumstances are beyond our control, so let's focus on the first case. I believe this accounts for 45-60% of the problems that make us sad and affect our mood.

Let’s understand the root cause:

Let me share a personal example:

I studied really hard for an exam, gave my 100%, studied for more than 13 hours every single day for 2 years, but was still not able to clear it. I got really sad and went into mild depression, for at least 2 months, not talking to people, staying alone in my room.

Time eventually healed my wounds, but looking back after 5 years of similar experiences, I realized something important:

• Did I give my 100%? → Yes
• Was there anything I could have done better? → No
• Then why was I so sad?

The answer: expectations.

I had created expectations about what would happen after getting into a top college:

• The fun I would have
• Showing off my achievements
• Parties, trips, and more

When these expectations weren't fulfilled, my mental image shattered, causing a lot of pain.

Let's see what Shree Krishna says about expectations

“कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥ ” (Chapter 2, verse 47)
~
Meaning: “You have the right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.”

Goals vs. Rewards

You might wonder: "Without expectations, what will motivate me?" Let's clarify the difference between goals and rewards:

Breaking the Loop

So the mojo should be: Let’s kill the Expectation dragon

The loop is dangerous.

The Loop goes like this: Expectation → Disappointment → Sadness → More Expectation

But when you stop maintaining expectations and simply accept results while learning from them, you'll experience a next level of calmness. You won't get hurt or feel sad as often—you'll start accepting life as it comes.

I know it’s hard, but believe me guys, if I can do it, you can do it !! If not today, you will have to do it tomorrow, so it’s better you start it as soon as possible.